Most of the day today I felt incredibly overwhelmed caring for Remington. I've cried twice so far. I just feel like I have no idea what I'm doing, should be doing, or how anyone let me be responsible for this little person.
I worry about everything- milestones, weight gain, breast milk production. I also think about what it was like before Remington, even if I didn't do anything all day, I miss it. I miss Landon and being able to spend alone time with him. I think about how nothing will ever be the same. I wonder if it was a good idea to have a kid. Yes, I know it's too late for that and we both really wanted kids and still do. I love Remington, and I can't wait for all the fun times we'll have, I'm just super overwhelmed right now. I even think that if teenagers and other people who really shouldn't have kids can take care of a baby, then surely I can. I don't know how people do it though.
I'm sure everyone has days like this, but no one ever tells you about them before you have kids. I knew that I would struggle with these first couple months, I don't really like babies before 6 months and would not even hold young babies. In fact, I'd never changed a diaper before I had Remington.
There have been times today (when I ended up crying) where this sense of helplessness, and feeling of not knowing what I'm doing becomes too much. I guess this is what they call baby blues too. I can't wait until Remington gets older and less dependent on me holding him or comforting him or feeding him constantly. By then there'll be new challenges...
1 comments:
Hang in there, Lisa. You're right, we do all have days like that. God gave you this little person for a reason, because He knows that you can take care of him. It is tough and there are so many things to worry about. But try not to. I know. Easier said than done. But honestly, the more you worry, the harder it is because you stress yourself out and then feel even more overwhelmed. Like they say, "let go and let God" Just trust Him to guide you as you care for Remington. They say when you become a mommy that your instincts just kick in. Don't second guess yourself, and if you really feel like you don't know, there is no shame in asking someone who has been there.
I'm not an expert, but if you ever have questions, I'd be glad to help!
Stay strong and focus on how amazing that little guy is.
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