Sleep and Lack Thereof

Everyone always tells you that sleep is gone with a new baby in the house and the number one question people ask me is how Remington is sleeping.

For the first few weeks, sleep wasn't that bad. Remington probably would've slept through the night if I didn't have to wake him up every 3 hours to feed him. When we struggled with feeding this was hard too, because Remington would eat for 30 minutes to a hour and then I'd have to try to go back to sleep only to get up in two hours. It sucks that you have to count the 3 hours from the beginning on one feeding to the beginning of the next.

Then, around 2 weeks Remington started not wanting to go to sleep. He is still like this now. Once we get him to sleep the first time then we're good, but it takes hours for him to get to sleep in the crib the first time. Like Landon said, no one tells you that you don't get any sleep with a baby because you're never able to go to bed in the first place. Remington just cries and cries until finally after usually 3 hours he falls asleep. We try everything from feeding him again, checking his diaper more, and sitting and constantly putting the pacifier back in his mouth. He'll be asleep, but as soon as he looses the pacifier he's wide awake.

With the supplementing, he started sleeping better until last night. It took 4-5 hours to get him to fall asleep. I'm exhausted and so is Landon. Landon took him for the most part last night because this new medication that is supposed to increase milk production is making me drowsy and dizzy. I wonder if it's worth it. I feel so tired, but when I try to lay down to sleep I can't. Ugh, when will it get better?

Praying for Weight Gain

One of the few times you want someone to gain weight is for Remington to at least get back to his birth weight. Well, he's almost there.

After going into work this morning for an IEP meeting (yeah, during my maternity leave time) that was rescheduled from Monday after the parents were no shows, I took Remington into the doctor for a weight check. The nurse had me undress him down to his diaper again (like at every weight check) and put him on the scale. I was relieved right away when it read 7 lbs 9.5 oz. Yay! Remington is a half ounce from his birth weight. He still needs to gain more though to get up to where he should be at a month old. The supplementing is working! The doctor came in a told me that it's good that he's gaining weight again. She wrote me a prescription for Reglan, which is a drug they give for morning sickness, but it also increases milk production. I'm supposed to take it 4 times a day for 10 days. I'm also to continue supplementing, but only give him the bottle if he acts like he wants it. In 2 weeks, I'll go back to the doctor and we'll see how Remington is doing.

I'm so glad he's doing better. He's also sleeping better after the supplementing too (more on that in a later post).

In other news today... While I was at work, my brother and sister watched Remington and the house. We've been needing to finish out our basement before everyone comes over for Christmas, and mostly needed someone to install carpet. We bought the carpet and pad, but needed it installed. We finally found someone and he came over today at 8am. I got back home from work and the doctor around 10 and he was completely finished with the installation! I was impressed, it only took him 2 hours and $175. I'm glad we found him and didn't do it ourselves. We still need to do some touch up work before it's ready for the holiday, but it's so much further now. Today was a good day!

I'm losing my mind!

1:00am- Conversation between Landon and me after the alarm goes off to feed Remington:
Me: Landon, could you go get the nipple shield so I can just feed him here?
Landon: Do you want me to bring him to you?
Me: No, I have him.
Landon: ---

I didn't have Remington, I hadn't moved from bed since the alarm. Landon- he's been amazing!- went and brought Remington to me and I feed him in bed for that feeding.

Being a mom is so exhausting. I'm a basket case that cries at everything. Breastfeeding was not going well. I would struggle for an hour to try and get him to latch on and suck. He just wasn't having it so I was supplementing with formula. I couldn't handle it. I would wake up, struggle and cry with him for an hour, then try to go back to bed only to get up in 2 hours to feed him again. Feeding every 3 hours is exhausting!!! I can't wait until he's back up to his birth weight so I can feed him when he's hungry instead of having to wake him up. I bet he would sleep through the night if I let him.

I feel incredibly overwhelmed with everything. Feeding every 3 hours. I'm not getting any sleep. The whole sleep when they sleep doesn't work either. When he's asleep I just think about everything that needs to be done. Clean the house, eat, stuff to do for work, etc. We really need to go to the store and buy food and stuff, and we need to take down the Halloween decorations, we just have no time!

I couldn't take the breastfeeding problems stress, so I called the nurses at Labor and Delivery for help. I totally recommend this to new moms. Ask for help when you need it, it's worth it. I went into the hospital and they watched me try to feed Remington and I told them what the problems were. I'm crying and I just couldn't deal. I was trying so hard and nothing was working. The nurses had me stay and relax in a room and try to feed him. They told me to stop supplementing (nobody told me to do that anyway- I was just feeding him the formula because I thought he wasn't eating enough). Then one amazing nurse gave me a nipple shield to try. I had tried this earlier when I was still in the hospital and it didn't work very well. This nurse showed me exactly how to use it. It worked instantly. I went home with instructions to use the shield, don't supplement anything, and to call and let them know how it went. Let me just say, I'm sooo happy! It's working like a dream. All of the feedings last night went flawlessly and he ate for 30 minutes each time.
When Landon got home from work last night, I let him know that the shield was working, but I still cried on him for awhile because I still feel overwhelmed and emotional. He has been amazing. He said he didn't feel like he's doing anything, but he totally is. The emotional support he's giving me is so needed. I love him so much! (I'm even getting teary writing this.) Landon took Remington for awhile and let me shower and eat. It sucks that he can't take over a feeding, and he'd be more than willing too. In fact, he would even like to be able to give Remington a bottle at night and let me rest.

Everyone is telling me that it gets better, and I hope they're right. Since the breastfeeding thing is going well now, it's already a huge relief.

First Doctor's Appointment

Remington and I got out of the hospital finally yesterday at 11:30. His biliruben was finally low enough. We were and still are having trouble with breast feeding. He just doesn't want to latch on anymore and/or he won't wake up to eat. It's so frustrating and emotionally draining. I know Landon feels bad too and helpless that he can't do anything to help.

The doctor wanted to see how Remington's biliruben was going today, so I made an appointment right away for 10:40 this morning. It was our first outing, and definitely my first alone with Remington. Landon had to go back to work. It went really well getting him in the carseat and in the doctor's office. When I get there, there's another couple of babies- one week old little girl- and a bunch of kids. I wait with Remington to do his lab work. I feel so sad for him, he's had his heels pricked so many times! I took him back to the lab and the nurse pricked his foot. He was sound asleep the whole time at the doctors, so he didn't cry that much. Then the nurse had to fill up a little vile with his blood. This took forever as she squeezed his foot to get all the blood. I felt so bad for him, it almost made me cry. I'm surprised I didn't too, since I've been very emotional lately. Then she couldn't get enough blood from that heel, so she had to prick his other one. She even commented about how she didn't want to have to prick his second foot because he'd already had it hit so many times and you could tell it was tender. At least he didn't cry that much, but I'm still sure it hurt so bad. Poor baby!

After the lab, we still needed to see the doctor. I go back to sitting in the waiting room. It was cute to see the babies and I had two people come up and ask about Remington. It was the saddest thing though. This looks at Remington and tells me that they just lost a grandbaby on Friday. He was premature and only lived a short time. The parents were in the waiting room having to watch all these little kids and two newborns when they had just lost their baby. I felt sooooo sad for them. It would be incredibly hard to have to do that. It made me extremely grateful for Remington and his health. We may be having trouble with feeding that tears me apart at times, but at least he's here and healthy. Even the jaundice is no big deal compared to what could happen. I'll pray for that family and hope they get through that tough time.

We go to see the doctor and first Remington was weighed. All babies loose weight from what they are at birth and Remington weighed 7 lbs 2 oz. today. This is up from 7 lbs 1 oz. yesterday at the hospital when he was discharged. This is a good sign. At least what little he's eating is enough. He's not loosing weight, which is good. The doctor also told me that his biliruben is up to 13 again (which we knew it would, but it's not too high). We talked about feeding and I showed he the chart I've been keeping about how much I feed him (from the bottle) and how long he nurses. It also charts his diapers. She seemed to think this was all good. I told her too that we were going to buy a breast pump tonight, so that at least he's getting that instead of formula. I needed to buy a pump eventually to go back to work, so now we're just having to get it early. The doctor's appointment gave me confidence that what I'm doing, even though it's hard, seems to be working. We have our 2 week appointment next Thursday (12th), so we'll see how it's going then.

Sucking

One thing I am not looking forward to after this baby is born is breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is gonna suck (haha, a pun...) I know all the positives of breastfeeding vs. bottlefeeding and have always planned on breastfeeding. So, it's really not that that I'm dreading, it's breast pumping. Ugh! I do not want to do that at all, and I don't want to pay the $200+ for a pump (I know it's cheaper than formula, but still). I will be going back to work about a month and a half after the baby is born, and I have no idea where I will be able to pump. It's this thought that keeps me up at night (I know, sad...). Two of my schools will be okay for pumping. I can lock the door and no one would know. However, the school that I'm at the most (yeah, figures) is what I'm nervous about. Plus the kids are older there, so I suspect they might know what's going on. I have no idea which pump to get (I've done a bit of research and think I want a Avent). How loud is it gonna be- I want it to be virtually silent, but do not want a manual pump. How long will it take? What happens if I don't have time to pump one day?

If anyone has the answers to these questions or can recommend a good pump or book about breast feeding, please let me know.

Side note: I will NEVER breastfeed in public, some people are crazy...